Not motivated to write much. For brevity's (and lethargy's) sake, let's just say that things have been weird, as regarding my sense of time and mysterious changes of my body.
I'm not sure what's going on. My pal/soul-sis Jan posts about her reactions to hormonal changes. I certainly haven't reached that biological landmark, yet I feel that I've somehow stepped in the similar marsh of scrambled sense of self. Maybe it's a sympathy thing? Like growing pimples to match your best friend's?
Last week, I bought three pairs of granny shoes (you know the kind) on a same day. It put a ding on my sense of style but I don't care. It's only a matter of time before my sense of style peels off clean anyway.
But I don't like feeling weird. I need to do something about it.
On a slightly more active note, I manage to paint consistently. I don't post the paintings because I've made a pact with myself not to be preoccupied with exposing my current work. They are part of yet another learning curve. Whenever I get on a learning kick, I fall into the sincere, thorough, even serious mode. My mom and elder sister used to tell me that the seriousness I have in learning was my precious (of not only) redeeming quality. They really told me that. Parents and elders tend to not mince word in their commentaries in my native culture. They'll tell you that you're fat if you are, which is one thing I do dread on going home.
I'll close here. I have changes to make about my life. I don't know what, but I'll put a stop to this feeling weird thing.