This Was My Day

This was my day:

1. Got up. Went sit on the porch with KDM. Drink Coffee. Watch birds (did I tell you that for the first time, ever, we saw Baltimore Orioles on our farm?). Shoot the breeze.
2. Dragged the hose, watered flowers, trees, herbs. Dug out the crepe myrtle which was planted too close to another bush. Replant the myrtle after moving it to a spot where KDM will have trouble getting the mower through. KDM protested, I answered I ain't moving the myrtle again. He'll figure out how to mow around it. He has a manual mower. No, no push mower, but the old fashioned, mechanical mower. 
3. Picked up one dead bird, victim of window crashing. I was sick to my stomach - it was the fourth one in three days. Yesterday I found a blue bird with wings spread out on the grass, alive, but couldn't get up. KDM picked it up. Blue bird was upset in his hands and made its feeling know LOUDLY. It flew away shortly. 
4. Made up my mind that I would see to it that no more bird shall crash into our windows. My idea is to paint the glass with glass paint, tomorrow. 
5. Bought bamboo Roman shades on eBay. I've been shopping on eBay quite a bit lately. As of today I have coming by mail shoes, shirt, paint, scarf, more shoes, and of course, Roman shades. 
6. While I was making payment to the eBay seller, the screen of my computer all of a sudden went nuts. A window/curtain dropped down from nowhere with pulsating warnings of a bug, red-hot spots everywhere shouting "This system has been infected!!" Within seconds the downloader went into action and I watched, breathlessly, stuff being downloaded by an invisible hand onto the hard-drive. The pulsating window is now securely perched on the top of my screen, carrying on its fire and brimstone of warning and threats. When I clicked on what I now don't remember, to supposedly "clean up" the bugs, I was asked to register and purchase the software. In a second I knew I'd been scammed. When I tried to find where the malware was installed, the homepage of my browser suddenly disappeared and a porn page popped up in its place. I launched into warrior mode and closed it like I was slaying a dragon. No sooner did I get back to the homepage to check the Internet settings than another popup parachuted in with ads pitching Viagra...Long story short, it took me another good half hour to finally stamp out the vicious invasion. I double-checked all places, emptied the trash can, reset Internet preferences, shutdown the computer, restarted. I tell you, it was like breathing fresh air again. 
7. Then I finished making my eBay payment for bamboo Roman shades.
8. Ate lunch.
9. Set up to paint a picture of the living room. 
10. Painted for several hours.
11. Meantime, KDM was on the tractor putting out fertilizer. Rain and storm were predicted to happen in the evening. Farmers try to time fertilizing pastures before the rain, which helps dissolve the material. 
12. I stopped painting. Time to cook. But what to cook? I wanted to eat cucumber salad, Chinese style. I looked out the window and saw KDM hard at work. KDM is a cowboy. Cowboys shouldn't be fed cucumber salad after a day's hard work. I repented the idea. 
13. I sat in front of the computer. Internet is where I find answers and solutions to all of life's persistent questions these days. "What's wrong with my azaleas?" "How to find a dead mouse and deodorize the place?" "What is color fruitwood?" "How to keep birds from crashing into windows?" Surely it would tell me "What's for supper"? I was poised to type the last question in the Google bar, then I paused. In stead, I clicked on Pioneer Woman Cooks.
14. I could always count on Pioneer Woman. It was meatball sandwich for supper. 
15. Dirty sweaty cowboy couldn't believe his luck. Turned out cowboy's wife liked the meatball sandwich too. Thanks to Pioneer Woman, and her insanely helpful, step-by-step, shot-by-shot photo illustration for making the meal. 
16. Cleaning and washing the dishes. 
17. Checked email, finding out that Neglected Teenager had just changed her college major for the, hm, the sixth time? Well, I guess she has time to make up her mind, she's only nineteen. 
18. Reporting the above on my dragon-free computer.
19. Good night.