Saturday, February 9, 2013

A Bad Day

I wrote the following on Thursday evening, but didn't publish on the same day - 

During the morning class I (or did I?) made a student cry - about a value (grayscale) study and said she just "doesn't get it." She later apologized and assured me it wasn't me, it was just her frustrations, and that she felt like the only one in class who wasn't "getting it."

Just a another poundage to the melancholy I'd been feeling with regard to teaching. I was happy when the workday was over.

When I got home from work, I was greeted by a down-cast and teary-eyed KDM, who told me that it had not been a good day -a calf died of respiratory illness today and he just finished burying it. Of late we had been dealing with a flurry of sick calves. I remember having premonitions as I looked out the bedroom window while getting dressed for work this morning. I could see several calves laying in the pasture instead of grazing like the rest of the herd. I whispered up a quick prayer for protection, and went on to work.

The news had a sobering effect on my dusty feelings about teaching, it has made me see how ridiculously trivial and self-indulgent my complaints were. For all we who make a living in agribusiness know, another year of severe drought may be in store for the coming seasons. What follows would be another round of high prices in feed, fuel, and pretty much all other operational expenses.

Yesterday's evening prayer from Magnifcat was stirring ( I know I keep going backward in time):

Put now your trust in God,
In duty's path go on;
Walk in his strength with faith and hope,
So shall your work be done.

Commit your ways to him,
Your works into his hands,
And rest on his unchanging word,
Who heaven and earth commands.

Give to the winds your fears;
Hope, and be undismayed:
God hears your sighs and counts your tears;
God shall lift up your head.


  1. Teaching is hard! Farming is hard! Sometimes it feels like it's raining frogs...

    Even if you think your personal problems pale in comparison to what happened on the farm, sometimes those feelings are just what we need to put things in perspective and get us over the hump.

  2. Teaching is hard, farming is hard, painting is hard. You do hard things Izy. It must be heartbreaking to watch some of one's animals die. My prayers for you.

  3. Thank you both, Jan and Manny, for comments and prayers. After our Friday morning Adoration, KDM shared with me how he immediately got over his sadness of loss by looking at the crucifix in the chapel. "That was the real bad day when THAT happened" was his thought. I'm not sure if a bare cross would have conveyed a message as clear as that.


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